I had been drinking for 20 years (I’m 42 now) and went into detox in November 2022 when I came to HIPS (Horton Intervention and Prevention Service). I have now been clean for around four months.
I have lived a rough life. I fled from domestic violence and have been in and out of hospital. When I was younger I was often out partying and used to drink enough to blackout, didn’t know who I spoke to, what I said, or what I had done. I suffered from terrible hangovers. This gradually got from bad to worse. I also had depression and was always feeling down. Drinking didn’t really make me feel better. I self-isolated myself in my flat for around four/five years and a few times I even felt suicidal.
Being an Asian girl, my culture doesn’t recognise mental health and alcoholism. I don’t feel that I can reach out to others in my community because of this. I think that people shouldn’t have to feel this cultural pressure, and should instead feel able to reach out for help.
The support from Horton Housing and other organisations has been amazing. My support workers are non-judgemental, supportive and listen to me. I know it could be very easy to relapse after 20 years. I wouldn’t have found it as easy to be where I am at now if it wasn’t for them.
I am now focusing on my recovery and keeping myself busy. I am doing courses and have completed a few, including a Level one in money management and a Level two in Information, advice and guidance.
I have an interest in interior design and I am enjoying redecorating my flat. Something I can do with the money I’ve saved from giving up alcohol. I’m looking to start travelling and doing a calligraphy course after I’ve finished the courses I’m doing now. I would also like to learn to drive.
I currently volunteer as a peer mentor. This is my best achievement. I enjoy helping people like myself. It gives me personal satisfaction knowing that I am helping someone to change their life. I wish I went for help a long time ago. I want awareness and to make people from the same background as me to feel comfortable to ask for help, as it is a big taboo.
I’m amazed at what I’ve achieved in the last few months. My relationships are better as I can clearly see who is good and bad for me, and have cut the bad people from my life. My general health has also improved. Through giving up alcohol, I have lost three stone. Coffee and cigs are my replacement of it.
I’m also looking after my mental health. Everything is positive now. I’m more capable of doing the things I thought I couldn’t do. Everything I start I now finish – which I’m proud of as I couldn’t do this when I was drinking. I still battle with confidence and other issues, but I feel I will overcome this.
I am looking for full-time work and in six months there is a job opening as a peer mentor. It would be a great success if I get that post. I would like to be an inspiration and an example that changing your life can be done.